You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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