i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
