4 words: hood of his car
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You are a genius and a whore.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
