Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize