sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
