Umm I'm too high to move.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
