my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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