why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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