Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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