so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a search helicopter?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
