Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
