Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
