we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
