Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
