Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Buhtt sex?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
40s are totally the cure
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
