I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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