Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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