And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
