Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize