The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
