it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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