Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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