she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
