Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
