Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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