No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize