Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
