Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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