Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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