the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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