Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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