Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
