Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
