I'm so fucking centered right now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
