Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
