benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
