When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
