We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
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you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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