Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize