Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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