its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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