dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
