Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
