As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
