One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
