i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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