Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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