At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
