it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
