is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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