Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
