That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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