rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
