I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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