idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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