Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
