in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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