So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
