whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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